2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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