Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
