Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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