there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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