how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
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