I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
