Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
