i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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