we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
