Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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