Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
