I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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