Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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