We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
