If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
