dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We are all done wearing pants today
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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