I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
