stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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