when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
