Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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