i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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