your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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