i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
