i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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