he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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