She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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