I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
