We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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