she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
