I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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