my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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