can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
