ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Blood and glitter go together right?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
