Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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