i permit you to call me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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