I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
