ya dads aren't the best wingmen
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
