That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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