why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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