my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
