Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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