I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
