you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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