i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
