WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
