Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
