He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
