I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
