is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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