Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
