Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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